Tuesday, 17 November 2009

My Life is Collapsing

Sometimes through day-to-day life I feel like everything's buzzing around me too fast that I can't really understand how things got that way. Parts of my life collapse and just float away from me, and it seems that I have no comtrol of their flight. I get so frustrated and angry with myself for getting into a mess that no one could control.

Half the time, I'm not even sure if they could be avoided. I have a tendency to get lost in my self and my thinking and then awake suddenly in a dilema who's source I can't trace. This then leads to me feeling guilty and ashamed for not making an effort in some situation and I feel like isolating myself from the world. I've been doing that a lot lately.

Self-seclusion is something I'm very good at. Very few people have the same mind set as myself, and my interests often differ from my peers. Thus, I cut myself off from the world and be in the company of someone who does share my hobbies, myself. It's horrible to admit, but it's true, and there would be no point starting this blog if I was to post lies over and over again.

I'm constantly being poked and prodded at my life's cruel finger and it's starting to get bloody annoying.

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