Update

Greetings to all! It has been many months since I last posted a blog, and I will use the typical excuse of being very busy. For now, I simply don’t have the energy to go in much detail about why was preoccupied, but I will ‘update’ you as it were.

As far as I know, I will not be posting any further chapter reviews of ‘The Hobbit’ by J.R.R Tolkein. Reason being that it’s so time consuming and tedious. However, perhaps in the future I’ll do a complete review of the book instead of commenting on each individual chapter.

Speaking of books, I’ve been reading a lot lately. Examples are, Moby Dick, Northern Lights (yes, I still had to finish it), The Lovely Bones, Martyn Pig, The Tomb of Hercules and a range of other books. I plan to get into the habit of visiting the public library weekly again. I may as well make good use of my library card.

Photography, as usual, is something which I do daily. I’ve taken dozens of pictures during the past few months.

'The Hobbit' by J.R.R Tolkien (Ch.1)

The following is going to be somewhat a regular thing that I'll do. Currently, I am reading 'The Hobbit' by the infamous Tolkien himself. It was recommended by a good friend and I was asked if I could review each chapter after reading them. I've now read up to chapter V since I began reading yesterday afternoon. I might be able to finish all five chapter reviews today, but we'll have to wait and see.

'The Hobbit' by J.R.R Tolkien
Chapter I

This book tells the adventurous tale of Bilbo Baggins; an unambtious hobbit who lives in a comfortable hobbit-hole in Bag End. He is whisked off by a wise wizard called Gandalf and a company of dwarves to raid the treasure hoard of Smaug the Magnificent dragon.

So far, this book has been a great read and highly enjoyable. Although, I felt that in the beginning of the first chapter, my gauge of interest soared up and down intermittingly. It was gripping up until the tenth page, wherein fourteen dwarves begin to arrive at Bilbos' hobbit-hole in small groups or individually. This should've a somewhat important starting point in the book, but it was written in such a repetitive uninteresting way that I found myself wishing that the story would hurry along abit.

But the story does hurry along after four pages when Gandalf and Thorin Oakenshield the dwarf arrive at Bilbos' home.

In summary of what occurs in this chapter, Gandalf, the company of dwarves (or dwarfs as you're told to write the plural of dwarf in the book) and Bilbo all discuss the raid and journey ahead. Bilbo of course, has no idea why thirteen dwarves are in his house gobbling up his cakes, tea and beer. And he also doesn't have a clue what matter is at hand. But Gandalf chose Bilbo to accompany them on the journey to be the burgular. All the dwarves have been told that this little hobbit is a professional, yet he is most certainly not. Bilbo however, goes along with it and they embark on their epic journey.

I must say though, it is an impressive book and is written very accurately. Tolkien creates a whole other world that grips you and sends your imagination reeling at the possibilities that could unfold. He does have a narrative style of writing. I can picture someone telling this tale around a huge campfire. It's hard to believe that this book was originally written for Tolkiens' children, but met instant acclaim once published.

A facinating read so far.

part of the beach

death of an unborn personality

Un-learn me,
hit the refresh button
revive, restore, rewind
until I’m a blank slate.
An unborn personality.
Then you can study me
better this time around.

Coffee, Strangers and Black Biro

I’m sitting in Starbucks
with a mocha flake in hand.
I love coffee shops.
The rich scent of coffee beans,
the relaxed atmosphere,
their idiosyncratic nature.
There’s a girl at the back
quietly sipping a cappuccino
there’s a scruffy book
sitting on her table and
a napkin with a coffee ring stain.
I can tell something’s bothering her
she looks like she’s waiting for someone
she keeps looking all around the shop,
out the window at the street and into
her coffee intensely, as if she’s absorbed
in her own straying thoughts as she
looks at the froth and chocolate powder.
She looks up and notices me staring
I turn away quickly, quite embarrassed,
although, from the corner of my eye,
I can see her smile. It makes me feel good.
I watch her scribble something on her napkin.
She checks her watch, takes one last swig of coffee,
lifts her book and puts her coat on to leave.
As she walks passed my table
she places the stained napkin in front of me
and exits the shop doors.
Some words are written in black biro,
“You look like the perfect stranger.”
I smile.

A Darker Dream

The world is entering a phase. Bare feet greet marble floor. Coldness shoots up through my toes and soles. The universe feels ambiguous and vague. Spiralling, unwinding, dizzy. Everything is frozen. Suspended between existence and non-existence. Glass is slowly falling. As if gravity is gradually gaining weight, but isn’t heavy enough to let the glass plunge. Suddenly, the glass cascades to the ground. It smashes into millions of microscopic shards that bounce across the black marble floor. Everything re-gains speed. Pots, glass, sand and soil collapse from the ceiling all around me. I stand firm. Barely existing in this reality. Hanging between this realm and the next.

Memories rewind in my head. Past experiences flicker. Moments I never knew I created, yet here they are. How can I see them so vividly now? How can one see yesterday, today? I can faintly hear the smashing of everything around me. The noise is growing. Increasing rapidly. Louder and louder. I snap out of the recollection and my black atmosphere collides with itself with immense force. Like a tornado consuming its own validity.

Then I woke up.

When I got out of bed and opened the window, the air outside was flat. It felt motionless and leaden. The room was cold. My warm flesh tingled as it became acquainted with the air. It was a new morning. A new day to do nothing.

I felt hazy and indefinite. Not only that, but I didn’t have a sense of time. It didn’t feel early neither did it feel late it the morning. It was somewhere in between. Nowhere.

I didn’t know what to do. I felt as if I’d woken up in a different body, or rather, I’d woken up in the same body, but it was inside that felt unfamiliar. I just sat there on my bed and listened to the silence. It was so pristine and clear. The stillness around me was continual.

I tried to trace why I felt the way I did. It wasn’t a bad feeling, just unusual and new. I somewhat liked it, but simply couldn’t unearth its origin.

I then brushed my teeth with the same toothbrush I used yesterday, and the day before, and the day before that … The sink looked deeper than usual. I felt my face melt into the plug hole. It felt intensely hot as it drooped. I turned on the tap and watched flesh, cartilage and blood swirl downwards.

I painted today.

Tried painting today.
It was fun.
I haven't done it in ages,
but I'm glad I did.

In the Name of your Religion

I want to ask you a question. Don’t worry; it’s a reasonably easy question that you can answer painlessly, if you try. And through my asking of this question, do not think lesser of me. After all, it’s just a question.

Would you treat me the same if I didn’t believe in your religion?

What’s the matter? Cat got your tongue? Ah, I see what it is.

I guess you don’t care for me as much as I thought you did.

Waiting for the Train

I come here everyday
planning to buy a ticket,
but can never decide
whether to get the return
or take the one trip ride.

My stomach feels like
a washing machine
spinning a heavy brick,
all these falling raindrops
have made the platform slick.

I’m balancing on a train track
slipping on the grimy plaque
watching people pass on by
it might be raining, but I’m still dry.

And so I sit on a wet bench
that looks out onto the track
while a train man paces with
his strong shoulders and back.

He whistles as he goes
and I stare at hungry pigeons
I want to know what they know,
does the train man have religion?

I’m balancing on a train track
slipping on the grimy plaque
watching people pass on by
it might be raining, but I’m still dry.

A tracksuit girl comes out of the ticket box
She drinks a can of fizzy pop
“What time is the train?”
“Six thirty seven,” the train man explains.
She throws the can into the bin,
and walks back in.

I’m balancing on a train track
slipping on the grimy plaque
watching people pass on by
it might be raining, but I’m still dry.

I don’t know where I’m going
but I know where I’ve been
this old flower ain’t growing
without a moist seed to begin.

I’m balancing on a train track
slipping on the grimy plaque
watching people pass on by
it might be raining, but I’m still dry.

I’m waiting for the train…

Hide the Evidence

I’ve got a rusty old bike
to which I’m shackled and chained
you’re the cryptic driver
and I’m the one in pain
you said you’d take me for a ride,
(that was fourteen years ago)
there’s a time when birth and death collide
I just never knew it would be this slow.
I’ve got a chain that needs some feeling,
a frame that needs some rest
when I jump to bed I rise to the ceiling
(and when I get a shower I’m fully dressed).
We’re all just riding through the mire
that gets plastered on our tyres
then you have to work for eight empty hours
to pay to scrape it off.
We spend most of our money on cases of beer
to help us feel like bigger men and pulverize the fear
When was the last time you brushed your hair
or found some clean clothes to wear?
Amongst the mess of this wasted life,
hide the evidence, disguise the knife.

the fine line between life and death

I'm a girl with a camera, so what?

Because I take pictures any time I step out the door, it's not out of the ordinary for people to stare when I've got a camera in hand. Apparently, it's completely bizarre to take a camera out onto the street. Often when I'm walking along the main road I'll be looking around me quite attentively to scout out interesting images. I can understand how that would attract attention from passing cars, especially when I'm holding a camera, but people gaze at me as if I've got eight heads! What's up with that?

Perhaps they're worried I'm going to snap a picture of them. I could, if I wanted to, but I don't. I don't go around taking pictures of people willy nilly. Besides, why on earth would I want to take a picture of a motorist with his face sour at me? And it's hardly a striking image, is it? I remember once I was outside doing photography and I'd climbed over a small 3ft wall at the entrance of an estate. I had my camera resting on the wall as I was leaning on it. The main road faces this wall, and a red car indicated to go into the estate whos wall I was standing by. The driver gave me a sickening look when he saw my camera.

Another reason for people to stare at me could be just genuine curiousity. I understand how people can be interested to know what I'm taking a picture of or why I have a camera outside. But I mean, come on, what's with the faces? Is it impossible for a young person to have a hobby? It's not like I go flaunting my camera around. I do photography discreetly and make sure I don't point the camera at anyone but myself. You may glance, yes, but don't burn a hole in my face with your stares.

simple beauty can be better

I am a starseeker

I am a starseeker
a hunter of the night,
collecting wisdom from silver dust.
Fiery silence, open skies
look down upon sleeping countrysides
and sullen cities,
waiting for a morrow not promised,
resting on dreams yet fulfilled.
Stars are really just the holes to heaven,
the gaps of bliss, keyholes to the afterlife.
The night sky is just a thin film
seperating us from all of the above:
The world of dreams,
of mythology and fantasy.
The fine line between fact and fiction
is drawn right above our heads,
and only those with their own heads
in the clouds, know such truths as this.

i want to feel the ground i walk on

My Childhood Videogame

“Expose the Conspiracy. Capture the Truth.
For centuries, the planet Hillys has been locked in conflict with a race of relentless alien invaders.
Wary of her government's promises to repel the aliens for good, a rebellious action reporter named Jade sets out to capture the truth behind the prolonged war.
Armed with her camera, dai-jo staff, and fierce determination, Jade soon finds herself inside the jaws of a horrific conspiracy, and face to face with an evil she cannot possibly fathom.
In a world where deception is the deadliest weapon of all, will Jade's discoveries be enough to free her people?”

The above text is a brief summary of the storyline of my favourite (under-rated)video game, ‘Beyond Good and Evil’ by Ubisoft. BG&E is an action-adventure game that was available on Play Station 2, PC, Game Cube and the original Xbox formats. I myself played the game on an Xbox. Back then, video games were still being developed for the Xbox format. Nowadays, considering very few people have an Xbox console, no game companies are willing to develop a game for it, which I accept, as the company does have to make some sort of profit. It is very disappointing though.

I first bought the game about five years ago, but when I first played the game I actually didn’t like it. Well, I guess I wasn’t giving the game a fair chance when I think about it now. I just gave up when I got stuck and impatient. Although, my opinion of this fabulous game was about to dramatically change.

My friend came to my house one afternoon and we both decided to play videogames. We played a couple on my Xbox, but she kept on wanting to try ‘Beyond Good and Evil’. So I gave in and popped in the disk. From the very beginning of the game, my friend was intrigued, and when we put both our heads together, we were able to get further. I discovered that day that in BG&E the main character, Jade was capable of using a camera to take pictures and she could fight badass; you could drive a hovercraft all over Hillys (the planet) and we managed to get ourselves half-way into our first mission.

That’s all it took to get me hooked. I was driven by the storyline, the graphics were fantastic and characters were absolutely lovable. Especially Jade. She had this really attractive simplicity about her and a tomboyish appearance with feminine charm. Her personality was beautiful to. She was ambitious, brave, confident, yet sensitive and very caring.

The missions caused you to explore, use logic and the game really packed a punch in my emotions with the plot. The music? My God, the music was exceptional! You grew to love the characters and just have fun. Two friends and I played that game. They both bought it and we played it to the very end. Thus, BG&E has a very sentimental value to all three of us, and I go so far as to say it’s part of my childhood. Without my friends in the equation, it wouldn’t have been the same.

Beyond Good and Evil website:
http://www.beyondgoodevil.com/us/main.php

Brief Thoughts on Photography

I came across a terrific quote today while I was browsing around 'thinkexist.com'. The quote was this:

"Photography takes an instant out of time, altering life by holding it still."
~ Dorothea Lange, American documentary photographer

For me, this thirteen word quote encapsulates what photography means to me personally. When I head out the door to do some photography, my goal is to take instants out of time. To alter life by holding it still. Photography allows me to freeze moments that we take for granted in every day life, and give them a completely different meaning and perspective. Life has so many dimensions, and I desire to try to snap them before they flucuate once more. Emotions and expressions on people's faces can be lost within seconds of them being shown. But with a camera in hand I can freeze the moment, capture the expression before it disappears. Before it is lost. And I find that the best photography--the true photography--is done when the subject doesn't even know they're being captured. Do you realise the shots one could get? It's amazing the end result you get when you take a picture of someone when they don't know you are. It brings out their true self. People tend to act almost fake for the camera. Most folk smile for the camera. It's a done thing I suppose. Not many frown when someone points a camera in their direction. So that is why like to secretly take pictures of others. It captures people as they are in that moment. How they are feeling in that instant. For me, that's the beauty of it.

Another thing I wanted to say regarding the above quote, is that the brilliant thing about photos is that they never die. You can always look back on moments and experiences. Some good, and some not so good. But that's also why we should show our true emotions in pictures, because when we look back on them, we'll be able to say and remember how we were feeling. It'd be a sin if all pictures feautured smiling people, because that's not how life is. We don't smile all the time. And I guess with photography, in contrast to fun pictures of a day out, it's more vital to show emotions instead of smiling because it's more artistic. People are more obligated to smile, let's say for a trip to the zoo, than an artistic shot.

For me anyway, I want to show how I feel in pictures. Almost like a visual diary, I guess. Since I bought my camera this year, I've taken over 2,000 images already. That's a lot of memories to look back on!

Goodbye Braces!

(Dentist inspects my teeth, then smiles)

"Naomi, what do you think of your teeth?" he said.
"I think they're alright." I replied.
"So do I."
I smile.
"I think I'm going to take your braces off today, is that okay?"
"Yes." I grinned.

And that's all there was to it.